It’s the elephant in the room that, as a leader and human being, you need to be aware of perhaps more than any other in the workplace.
Mental health …
How to manage it for yourself and;
How to spot issues affecting those around you.
Because despite it becoming a topic more openly discussed than in the past, for many, it remains a silent challenge that’s difficult to raise or even, sometimes, acknowledge.
A recent CTO Academy survey asking tech leaders to list topics of interest and/or importance, for instance, saw “management of mental health” receive the fewest votes. And yet, we know from exchanges within our community that dealing with staff struggling with mental health issues is amongst the most challenging aspects of any leadership role. It is a challenge many leaders feel least able to meet.
But we’re in high-profile demanding roles. We are expected to cope and display a facade of strong leadership at all times. There is always that fear of how it reflects on us and how it impacts others if we don’t.
Yet, an OSMI study on ”Mental Health in Tech” found that:
There is no doubt that we have a serious mental health challenge within the tech industry. Still, there is this tendency to deny that fact and carry on regardless, with obvious risks.
What is the right balance between helping individuals suffering emotionally and preserving the needs of the team and the business?
We reached out to five seasoned technology leaders who are also members of the CTO Academy community and asked them about their experiences dealing with mental health in the workplace.
Due to the sensitivity of some topics, two of our panellists asked to remain anonymous.
Technology Leaders Panel:
Q: What are your experiences dealing with staff mental health issues? What steps did you take to manage the situation and why?
GP: Over the years, I’ve had several experiences, with various causes, symptoms and effects on the business.
I have always taken the approach that giving an individual the time, space and support to concentrate on their mental health is essential.
Whilst each case is individual, the key steps have been to, first, offer a safe space for the individual to acknowledge or share the fact that they are suffering.
In more recent years, I have seen a greater willingness in individuals to come forward and talk about mental health issues whereas in the past I’ve seen people with an obvious issue, who tried to just ‘battle on through’ in the workplace.
Secondly, to offer the time and support to concentrate on what they have to do. In my opinion, there is no one-size-fits-all solution here.
For example, where an individual has stresses inside and/or outside the workplace, being flexible on work start/end times, allowing for some additional time off, introducing a break and phased return to work have all been effective on different occasions.
Where there have been other issues, I’ve found that the same approach, including sign-posting to support services (such as the company’s health support or PMI) is often a good step.
SB: As our firm is small it is fairly noticeable when someone is not performing as expected.
The individual did fantastic work when in a good place, but started having sleeping issues, missing morning meetings or just not turning up to work.
Obviously, something was wrong and I didn’t think it was because the person suddenly didn’t want to work, or didn’t want to turn up.
Via our one-to-one, I asked if they were OK and if they were comfortable discussing what was going on.
A few things were brought up but the headline topic was that the person was suffering from mental health issues.
It was not something I’d had to deal with much in the past, but I explained to them that the company would try and support them in the best possible way and that I would investigate what things were possible.
I spoke to my MD and HR together about the situation and reached out to my CTO Academy group to ask for advice on a no-names basis.
Being able to lean into a source of trusted advice is useful for the manager as well as the individual involved.
Eventually, we decided to offer a service to all staff which covers a range of services, one being the counselling which that individual had requested.
NK: Throughout my career, I’ve held several different roles from desktop support to head of function.
Over the years, it became clear that while we take the pressure and stress people feel for granted, as leaders, it’s up to us to help everyone we work with manage and deal with these situations. And it starts with creating a safe, judgement-free environment where people feel comfortable asking for help and for others to provide support.
On one occasion, a colleague who I worked with many years ago was underperforming and difficult to engage with. He seemed genuinely unhappy and this started to affect his relationships in the workplace.
I had heard that he was at risk of being let go as he was so difficult, and while I couldn’t argue that fact, I also choose to believe that everyone is capable of personal growth if given the right opportunity.
Having worked with him, I knew that even though he seemed angry if you asked for help or for him to do something he would get it done without complaint and consistently. So I genuinely believed that was something we could work with.
While I had never dealt with this kind of situation before, I was determined to do my best to make sure that someone I valued as a colleague was supported without bias. So I reached out to him, we went for coffee and I shared with him how he was perceived by others. I also explained the impact he had on them and how it reflected in his work. But I did make sure to highlight situations as examples and share all the great work he had done as well.
He took this surprisingly well. He was mostly concerned with how he made others feel as it was never his intention. He also opened up about what was driving the behaviour. It boiled down to the fact that he had other plans for his life. He grew up in a lower-income household so he didn’t have many options but to take the best job available. While he grew and learned about technology, this was not where he wanted to be.
We worked out what he really wanted to do and what he was passionate about. Then we came up with a plan that allowed him to keep his current role, but work towards training for the job he wanted.
That made the most significant difference. He began to see his situation differently and immediately realised that he was not trapped. Instead, he would use his current job to progress in his true passion.
His attitude towards others changed significantly over the next few days and once he started taking courses towards what he was passionate about, he was a new person (and kept his job).
EM: There have been several situations in the past where a staff member has had a challenging time. Depression and burnout have become more frequent.
Luckily, people have also become more aware of their mental health and are open to sharing their struggles. In these cases, I’ve done my best to support the person by temporarily reducing their workload, checking in with them more often and discussing concrete steps they can take in their daily work schedule. I aimed to help them continue with their work without too much emotional toll.
Essentially, we have discussed how to accommodate their needs better. Additionally, I would contact HR for suggestions and awareness if the issues persisted.
There have been instances of ’emergency vacations’, approved two weeks on very short notice. There have also been longer job sabbaticals to allow the person to recover (sometimes medical leave, sometimes unpaid leave).
It’s in the best interest of the company to keep high-performing employees and wait for them to return, even if not to the same position they previously held. Part-time work has also been used to allow space for somebody to recover.
So far, the extended leaves and part-time work have been successful and people have returned to doing their jobs well.
I always encourage people to make the best out of the benefits our company offers. There are, for example, free therapy/coaching sessions available on a global online platform. It’s not only for therapy. I can be gentle with my suggestions since coaches are also available on the platform and the employee can choose the best option for them.
As a less happy story, a new hire turned out to suffer from ADHD which they shared themselves (a manager should never try to diagnose but deal with performance and expectations). We did our best to accommodate them, but their performance was severely affected. They didn’t manage their condition well and unfortunately, we had to part ways.
CTO: One of my team members was going through a difficult time in their personal life. Their work was being negatively affected by stress caused by these issues.
Initially, I only saw the outward manifestation of these issues through a decline in the quality of their work and their frequent absences. This caused an issue for me and the team.
I consulted with HR. During a one-to-one, I asked my team member if anything was going on outside work. It was then that they opened up and told me about their situation. They were relieved to talk about the problem and it explained everything that was happening.
The discussion turned to determining how I could support them and how they could continue working through this situation. I offered them time off and a more flexible working arrangement.
This allowed them to attend counselling sessions and take time off as needed. I also offered extended time off, which they declined, but having it available as an option was helpful.
Supporting my team member through this crisis was the primary concern, despite other considerations which included the team’s workload, the wider organisation’s needs and the team’s perception of how this person was being treated.
The approach I took fitted with my team’s culture. There is a strong sense of camaraderie between us, and we operate a very flexible work culture. I always needed to be mindful of the team’s perception of this person’s work. However, this never became a problem.
I believe the team culture significantly contributed to that; the supportive environment allowed the team member to work through their personal issues; they returned to being a valuable team member.
Q: How comfortable/prepared did you feel in dealing with the situation?
GP: Traditionally, I’ve felt somewhat awkward and ill-prepared to deal with these situations. Especially when the individual has done a good job of hiding the issue; it has come as a surprise.
At Fivium, the company has a clear pledge to support employees in their mental health. This makes dealing with any situation much easier, and me more comfortable, as I know the organisation will not need convincing of the topic, the support needed or that we’re doing the right thing. Not every organisation I have worked with has been so enlightened.
SB: In all honesty, I wasn’t prepared. Because of how the term mental health has been thrown about in the media, I was not sure what we were and were not allowed to do/discuss etc.
EM: I’ve become more prepared over time — we even partnered with a mental health NGO for manager training to help them support mental health emergencies. Of course, there are uncomfortable moments, especially if somebody is visibly distressed and at their limit. I don’t think I would ever feel fully comfortable in these situations as it requires quick thinking and lots of control to make sure communication is top-notch and suitable for the situation, including the individual.
There are ways to become better at supporting employees with their mental health struggles and combining the support with the managerial role. The techniques can improve and evolve. However, I still can’t imagine being fully comfortable when an employee is struggling.
CTO: I felt comfortable talking to my team member about the issues, but I needed support from HR around company policy and our legal obligations.
We’re a small company, less than 20 people, so I know our HR person well. They were very supportive and understanding and gave me clear guidance on the steps I should take.
They checked in with me regularly to see how things were going and if I needed any support.
Q: What lessons have you taken away?
GP: Every individual and every instance of a mental health issue is unique; however, with empathy as a leader, you can provide the support needed.
Ultimately, great people are hard to find, train and retain so losing a fraction of their time this year may hurt some short-term goals and create some tensions in the business. But in most cases, the business is net better with the employee suitably recovered, than without them.
SB: Learning from CTO Academy and from my company I got a good overview of how to deal with the situation, to be supportive, caring and flexible while encouraging the communication channels to stay open to mitigate any risk to the business.
NK: You should look for the best in people and never judge by behaviours, but by their actions and their values.
You have to establish trust with people if you genuinely want to help create that safe space.
Generally, people are capable of more than you or I believe. They just need motivation and sometimes to see their situations differently.
EM: I think the most important for me has been ‘how far can you go with the support’.
I was lucky to have the opportunity to discuss this with mental health specialists. The conclusion was that we as managers should always be kind and fair, but we also need to focus on performance.
Managers are not mental health specialists and should focus on aspects that affect individual and team performance.
And, indeed, if a person consistently fails to achieve the expectations set for their role and is not improving or is not improving fast enough then the best decision is to part ways.
It can be horribly guilt-inducing for the manager, but they also have the rest of the team to think of.
This is especially critical in fields where the effective delivery unit is the team, not the individual.
Rare are the cases where somebody’s mental health struggles don’t affect the rest of the team.
CTO: Listen to what the person wants and needs. Avoid jumping to solutions without listening to their needs.
For example, I offered time off, but they chose to continue working as a way to get their mind off the issues.
Q: What are your thoughts on promoting good mental health? What strategies do you employ in fostering good mental health in your team?
GP: I encourage managers to discuss stress, happiness and general wellness topics with their employees regularly.
It provides a great starting point for managers to hear about mental health worries/issues.
I practise this with my reports (who are typically managers or leaders).
Fivium’s attitude to mental health in general, and the company’s Mental First Aiders especially, make the topic something that can be openly discussed.
SB: I have always tried to project a fun, positive working environment.
I am an enthusiastic person by nature; however, due to a series of life events, I have learned there is always more going on than meets the eye.
Now I look out for signs that things may not be as rosy as they seem and I let my team and other people in the business know I am always there for a chat.
From the company’s point of view, we have introduced a product from employee wellness specialists which offers a range of services to support our staff.
NK: Keep positive, whatever life throws your way. It could be the universe telling you that there is an opportunity for you somewhere else.
It helps to talk to others, a coach, a mentor, a friend, or if you prefer, consider counselling.
Be kind, listen to others and support those who are experiencing difficult times — you never know if you are going to need help in future.
If you feel like you have reached a dead end, try something new or different. For example:
EM: I try to coach employees to mindfully approach their mental health struggles and help themselves recover.
These things are always very personalised; not every employee is open to discussing these things with their manager.
There is free access to coaching and therapy, there are company-wide awareness campaigns and training.
We don’t encourage overtime and an always-on culture.
The best time to prevent mental health struggles is when everything is going well.
If somebody is doing commits at midnight, they are going to be asked about it.
Teams openly talk about work-life balance and the importance of charging their own batteries.
CTO: For me, the most important thing is to promote a positive team culture. This has benefits beyond mental health.
Studies have shown that the key factor in determining if a team is high-performing is psychological safety.
Benefits like flexible working hours allow team members to fit work around their lives. They can take time off to take care of the important things.
What do you do to protect your own mental health?
GP: I’d assert few tech leaders’ve not had stressful times in project delivery; security worries or staffing issues.
The key is to practise what I recommend to others and that’s taking regular breaks during the day, proper days off most weekends and making use of annual leave.
There are emergencies, there are urgent items, but they are fewer than we think. Hence, make the time to reflect on what’s working for you in terms of your mental (and general) wellness, and what’s not working.
Control the controllables and make the time to deal with rest.
As a leader, I’ve learned that I’m less effective in supporting the team (including their mental health) if I am suffering from burnout, stress or other issues.
Taking the time to get myself in good shape pays dividends in terms of being able to lead and support the team.
SB: Corny as it sounds, I go by the motto, it’s fine to not be OK.
I think I saw it once on Facebook when I was going through a very tough divorce and thought, yep, I agree with that.
I now communicate more openly about how I feel and am less hard on myself if I have a less productive day due to personal reasons.
I have a great support network around me when life decides to send a curveball.
I am also a firm believer that exercise and mindful meditation really help.
NK: I think of an emotional credit system.
I start each day with 24 credits and make sure whenever possible to keep some for myself, some for my family and the rest for others or dealing with stressful situations.
The days I feel really stressed out are the days when I exceed my emotional credits, feeling exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed.
I have consumed more credits than I have available.
I also choose where to spend my emotional credits. I will evaluate a situation and if I do not believe the outcome is beneficial to myself or anyone else, I don’t spend my emotional credits. I bank them for something more meaningful.
I am reminded of the adage, “Pick your battles”, which to me is simply a reminder that I don’t have to fight every fight, I can walk away and remove myself from the situation to protect my mental health.
Having trusted colleagues/friends to talk to and get their perspectives has been a real help in evaluating a situation and getting an unbiased opinion.
As an extension to this, it is also helpful to have a mentor to talk through these situations and form part of my reflections.
More people should take some time to reflect and think about a situation and how it made you feel, how you responded and what you could do to improve the outcome.
You sometimes cannot avoid some emotionally distressing situations, but reflecting on them is a step to understanding yourself and the situation and learning how to avoid them in future or at the very least how to better deal with it.
EM: I’m mindful of my mental state so if I notice early warning signs like lack of sleep, sour mood or irritability, I try to reflect and figure out where it’s coming from.
I do things I like and that charge my batteries; for instance, hiking, working out, fishing etc.
I’ve also managed to stay away from work during my vacations and we as a company encourage this approach.
CTO: It’s important to switch off from work. Working from home makes it hard to separate work from personal time.
Over time, I realised I was approaching burnout so I’ve implemented boundaries for work-life balance because a shift in perspective was needed. It, perhaps, needs to be done, BUT it doesn’t need to be done right now.
I actively monitor my stress levels by doing a quick self-check throughout the day. This enables me to recognise when I’m becoming stressed and take action. The action can be as easy as going for a walk or meditating for five minutes.
Thank you to everyone on the panel who contributed wonderful personal reflections to this important article.
Here, at CTO Academy, we work closely with a mental health expert and host talks and Q&A sessions on mental health in the workplace.
Get in touch if you’d like further advice around this topic and we will be happy to put you in contact with experts who can help.
Website: https://cto.academy/
Email: [email protected]
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